4 day HC guide
change html markups to wiki markups. This is written from RT's point of view, if we want it to be a general guide, we need to clean up all that language and present it as a guide, not a story.
This is a very loose guide to doing 4-day Hardcore No-Path Ascensions.
The play style is geared towards generating turns and not worrying about turn count (the focus is purely day count).
There are a few things to consider before jumping in:
What moon sign do you want? Go Muscle?I like Wallaby for Myst or Moxie classes, and Mongoose for others. This is because the muscle sign access removes the necessity of doing Degrassi Knoll, which frees up a lot of stuff on day 1, and makes running the MCD from turn 1 very easy. I used to advocate Blender, because it was a good sign, it used to add about 35 turns to a 4-day, which is enough to overcome the turns spent in Degrassi Knoll usually. You do have to spend a few extra turns smithing things like the RnR and your EW, but you also may not have to do anything in South of the Border, unless you need a mariachi g-string. Sadly, Blender is no longer a really viable option for a competitive moon sign.
Oxy-dropping for a faster first semi-rare is no longer a viable strategy, as all first semi-rares are now on turns 70-80.
I will give familiar advice. When I say "other volley type", that also means use the bugged bugbear if you can. It can be a very difficult familiar to support, so do not worry if you can't use it. It is not necessary for a 4-day run, but it can help if you can support it. Mini-Hipster (tuned to stats, of course) is also a very powerful stat familiar before its fights are up. However, it doesn't help all that much early on in the game, except for delay() chewing with the free fights.
The fax machine is highly situational, and my take on it for this guide is what I think will provide the greatest ease for getting a 4-day run. If my suggestions do not fit with how you want to go about your run, that's clearly perfectly fine, as it cannot be tailored to everyone's unique situations.
Yellow Ray a dairy goat approximately turn 1 (this gives day 1 milk for about +14 turns, and lets you Yellow Ray something else later). Yellow Raying a monster that will one-shot you is about an 80% success rate to get the YR off before it kills you (frees itself from entangling noodles). I strongly suggest using Entangling Noodles as your auto-attack, as that will give your familiar an additional (free!) chance to display
ASCII Art or KGE guard captain, depending on how things go.
ASCII Art or KGE guard captain, depending on what you did on day 2, and if you still need ASCII/KGE.
dirty thieving brigand for the nuns trick. The nuns trick is a fairly common softcore technique that is now made extremely easy to do in Hardcore by the use of faxes. You get the Hippy War outfit by using a slimeling while starting the war. If you don't get the outfit, oh well, just do the nunnery regularly, and fax in something else. If you do get the outfit though, you do all but 1 turn of the nuns quest in the hippy outfit, and then switch to the frat outfit, and kill a faxed/copied brigand. This completes the quest as a frat for you, and cuts 8 turns off of the battlefield, and cuts roughly 5 or so turns off of your prism turncount. Also remember that to get the nunnery to exactly 1 turn to finish, you can shrug off a buff or three (remove stickersword, polka, that kind of thing) for the final hippy outfit kill, then put polka and stickersword back on for the faxed brigand kill as a frat. If you don't want to do the nuns trick, or you can't (no outfit), you would probably consider doing a lobsterfrogman or a tower monster item.
On a typical day 1, the goal is simple. Get liver. If you get liver and have turns to spare, there are other things to do. I typically start off by summoning 2 sugar sheets, making a shirt and a shield, equipping both, using a He Boulder. I also buy a detuned radio immediately and set it to 10. The only time it comes away from 10 is for Boss Bat, Goblin King, and Bonerdagon, depending on class/what I want. I also buy chewing gum, and grab an accordion and make the RnR legend right away, the new chewing gum mechanic makes this really really easy. You will not get a duplicate of a chewing gum item if you have it in your inventory, unless you have all of the chewing gum items. So to get trinkets, just use the trinkets as you get them (or closet them as you get them to collect).
I red ray a monster in the Haunted Pantry, after having cast Leash. This is a 21 pound beholder, giving ~9.2 substats each. This will get you close to level 2, especially when coupled with the sugar shirt and MCD stats. However, since there was a change, you will no longer get level 2 immediately, you'll need to spend another adventure, probably also in the pantry. Then, I switch to the Llama, as I want 2 or 3 gongs. Usually three. Be aware that sometimes, the monster you end up facing at first is a flame-broiled meat blob, which is resistant to Hot. You will still get the stats from the red ray, however, this will only do 1 damage. I recommend having a Trivial Combat skill available for this. I am not joking when I recommend Toss. If your beholder is 21 pounds, Toss will do 13 damage, easily killing the monster. Even on a familiar where you only have Leash (and Sympathy), Toss will do 12 damage. Incredibly useful for killing things when MP is super tight, which it often is, on turn 1.
Pumpkin beer is ridiculous, once you're level 2, you may want to really strongly consider drinking your pumpkin beers, with or without Ode, it doesn't really matter that much. You could also make a pumpkin pie, but this will get you fewer stats, same adventures though, and you might not feel as bad for not having milk. The beers are high yield boozes, and what you're really looking for is the stats. They give 5-20 each (average 12.5), this is 37.5 stats average, even at base level 2, this is nearly enough to get you to level 3, if you want to skip the forest and come back later with runaways. Just remember that you do need the larva to open the tavern. Depending on how you feel about it, you might want to eat the pumpkin pie (assuming you're a muscle sign), get ~20 stats, skip half of level 2, and keep questing that way.
You can eat a fortune cookie at any time to reveal the semi-rare adventure number. In lieu of this, if you want your first semi-rare to be a lunchbox anyway, just wait for turns 70-80 in order to open Cobb's Knob, and get the semi-rare while doing that.
Your familiar should be: Llama lama, or other volley-type.
Now, start plinking after you get your Rock 'n' Roll Legend, you'll be running madrigal at the very least. I will also open up the Guild by doing only the first test at this point, since the AT buff for my given class allows me to pass the first test without fear of failure. If it's your style, you can try to run antiphon, but that's hella expensive, and should only be done on very, very special runs. Usually only moxie runs where you have access to tonic waters.
Get the Larva from the forest. Once you get the larva, forget about the forest until you can use runaways to speed that area up.
If you didn't zip straight to level 3, then get to level 3 by doing the first guild test, and using those two mainstat things, sell the non-mainstat spleen thingy (if you didn't do the first guild test earlier). If you're not level 3 yet, go to the Pantry or Outskirts if you really want. This is a good spot to use runaways later in the day though.
Once level 3, you will be doing the Tavern. You should also probably be somewhere in the middle of your first birdform stint. Clear the tavern as best you can. You want the three swills to be able to mix them up into ACs. Stay on the outside edges of the tavern, that is where you will find the ring then the faucet. The tavern now apparently works based on the number of adventures you have spent there, in order to give you the special adventure. Originally it was spaded to have the three special squares on the outside edges, but Jick changed that. Be very careful if you're running any +ML, as the tougher rats will come out, and can be very difficult to kill at level 3, especially given that you're running +ML in the first place.
Your familiar should be: Llama lama, or another volley-type. Stocking Mimic is also an okay choice for the Tavern.
After you've finished the Tavern, you'll likely be out of birdform, unless you did another birdform stint. If you did a second birdform, you can try to hit level 4 by going to the bugbear pen, and looking for an annoying pitchfork if you really want.
My style is to generally not worry about squeezing the second birdform in there, and I will often kill a slimetube monster or two to hit level 4. Not joking. I do this at level 3 in Hardcore. Sugar Chapeau, Mental A-cue-ity, Jackasses', Fusilli, Flavour, Mojomuscular, and Bandersnatch. This is not typically very viable as a Muscle class, but as a Moxie class (tonic waters) or Myst class (MMJs), it is quite doable and useful.
At level 4, I mix up the three tavern ACs. Sometimes, I might only mix up two of them, and wait for later in the day to see what I get from the top section of the barrels as far as AC mixables go. Inigo's is your friend, if you can muster the 100 max MP, and fill that. Starfishing is good, as are tonic waters if you're a moxie class.
Total run turncount is usually between 30 and 40
Around this point in the run, Leash comes on, and doesn't come off.
Your familiar should be: Hound Dog, Slimeling, Pixie, or other fairy-type, for the Bat Lair. When you kill the boss bat, use a hobo monkey or other leprechaun type (Beholder is also a lep-type!). Then obviously the Bandersnatch for hobo sewering, if you're going that route.
Since you're level 4, Birdform the second time immediately, do the bat's lair. After you've killed the boss bat, birdform should be up, or mostly up, finish out birdform some way, and then do the Hobo Sewers to hit level 6. That's how I do it, others do it differently. That's okay. Depends on your run's goals. Lower turncount, you wouldn't do it this way; Daycount, don't care what turncount, you'll do it this way. Hobo sewers, I will almost always do with Jabanero, Bandersnatch, and Saucegeyser. If you don't know this method, ask about it sometime. It's very powerful, and uses less MP overall than than Shieldbutting method.
You should now be level 6.
Total run turncount is usually between 60 and 70.
As a Sauceror, Ur-Kel's comes on now, and doesn't come off for pretty much the whole run.
Keep a close eye on your semi-rare adventure number, you'll get the lunchbox, and use that for some turns. It's a good idea to go to Cobb's Knob without having eaten a fortune cookie starting at turn 71, and you should hit the SR before getting the encryption key.
After you clear the sewers, and are level 6, you should have probably like.. 20-30 turns left. If you have relatively few, then go for Hellions immediately, to get hell ramen. Wait until after you are trailing the hellions to do the third birdform stint. You can also choose to use the sandworm for an agua if you feel like it, but sandworm = lower chance of hellion cubes.
Your familiar should be: Sandworm, stocking mimic, llama, bandersnatch, or other volley-type for the lower two areas, or pixie, slimeling, or other fairy-type (not Hound!) for the Neck to get Hellion cubes.
Getting the friar's items should take you about 30 or so turns total, assuming you're running -10% combat from Sonata and Smooth. I usually use either a sandworm or bandersnatch here. Also, use a pixie for the hellion cubes, you'll want absinthes for later (day 3 or 4, generally). Now you've got probably 50-70 turns left for the day. Also use the feather or agua, depending on which one you got.
Liver is a pretty simple matter, just go until you get the third azazel item (the tutu), and then go elsewhere, maybe the outskirts to unlock the Knob, so that you can yellow ray a harem girl before the day is up, maybe a shore trip somewhere in there to get your tower item, perhaps shore before you start the Gate, and then after. Who knows. I occasionally forget to shore before the Gate. Ideally I'd do it before, but lots of things going on.
Total run turncount is usually between 120 and 160
Yellow ray a harem girl, then get Liver. You'll probably have, ohh... 20-40 turns left, generally. Do whatever you need to do. get a chef's hat for the chef in the box, get the hermit's clovers, open the manor, use runaways at the pantry/forest.
I don't go for the chef until day 2, since Inigo's makes the tender unnecessary, I will just need 1 disembodied brain, so I wait until after the Cyrpt is done on day 2, and then clover for the brain/skull (get them in the same adventure post-Cyrpt Cemetary!)
You could also make your EW and farm a box from the Fun house. Lots of options for what to do.
That's typically how my day 1s go. I do like opening up the Island completely on day 1, so that my first adventure on day 2 can be to yellow ray a hippy, and then yellow ray KGE later in the day. I farm the miner's outfit the old fashioned way (blasphemy!) It works for me though.
Total run turncount is usually between 170 and 190
Day 2 generally starts off by either finishing the shore if it's not finished, or yellow raying a hippy immediately. KGE will be the second yellow ray later in the day. Now you've got the hippy outfit, awesome. Gotta get to level 7.
Your familiar should be: Llama lama or Sandworm if opening manor / stuff. Fairy-type if getting a box from the Fun House.
Here's where I get a box if I didn't get one on day 1. Also where I open up the manor (Ode running from yesterday could give you some runaways if you'd like). I usually leave runaways for the teleportitis in the Greater-Than. With the change to the greater-than, being able to quickly guarantee Teleportitis is nice, so the runaways aren't quite as important for that. So feel free to use runaways at the pantry to open the manor.
I will generally hit level 7 when going through the Billiards Room or Library. Very rarely when i'm in the Bedroom.
Go to the Cyrpt now. If you've opened the ballroom, you can feel free to set the song if you want, though it doesn't save very much at all in the Cyrpt. You might as well though. You could also wait until after the F'c'le, but that's not a big deal. Clearing the Cyrpt areas is straightforward, I do throw a little twist on it though. I buff non-combats, and then go to the three non-mainstat areas, looking for the non-combat while i've got the the -combat% buffs running. I can usually get all three on one set of -combat%. You do not need to use the non-combat adventure, you just need to see it to set that part of the conditional that's on the boss. I'll clear out those three areas. I buff non-combats for the bottom right area, which gives the MP and three stat boosts, and I use those non-combats. I don't buff non-combats for the other two non-mainstat areas. -combat% helps only very slightly. If you're concerned with shaving like 0.4 turns, then go for it. I do buff -combat% in the mainstat area, and use that non-combat.
Familiar use in the Cyrpt is generally spleen familiars, sandworm, llama, pixie, and maybe stocking mimic. Depends on my mood. I'll typically try for two of each spleen item, then a third agua after i've gotten the first two of each thing. I use aguas for turn generation, and I use gongs/absinthes for stats later in the run.
Kill the Bonerdagon when done. If I'm banking for day 3, then around now is probably the time to do it, to make sure i'm at 200 adventures, or very nearly, for tomorrow, depends on what I calculate, though getting pirate boozes instead of doing part of the Cyrpt is advantageous if you won't muster the turns to bank at 200. Otherwise, I just keep on rolling. I like using spells to kill the bonerdagon. Hot-Tuned Cannon, chapeau, and a-cue-ity will easily one-shot him.
Getting to level 8 is usually only a handful of turns from here. I will usually finish opening the Ballroom (via the Bedroom), or if that stuff is done, i'll go to the pirates, to get that outfit. Use the slimeling and -combat% for this.
If i'm still not level 8 by the time I get the pirate outfit, I will start working on gathering pirate insults and base boozes. I usually hit level 8 in the middle of gathering insults. My style is to go for 7 insults. Others go for 6. Going for 6 saves you ~2-3 prism-turncount over going for 7.
Total run turncount is usually between 250 and 280
Once I hit level 8, I will go get the miner's outfit. The yellow ray typically is not active by now, since it's probably only been about 60-120 turns since I yellow rayed the hippy. That's fine. I just farm the miner's outfit anyway, using -combat% and a slimeling. You can put this off and powerlevel, but i'm usually short on turns-before-eating at this point, and I like getting Milks for eating on day 2. Your second semi-rare should be coming around this time too. I use that for distilled fortified wines.
After getting the miner's outfit, open up the mine and get your ores. Note that the ores are arranged like tetris pieces in the top 6x4 grid of the mine. Make use of that and it will help you to deduce where ores can possibly be.
Open the goatlet. Now, you will want to run your favorite fairy (hound! Woo!), and buff item drops for the cheeses. Here's a great time to use Brother Burrito's Blessing for that additional +30% to Food drops. You only need +150% to make goat cheese a 100% drop, so getting +120% before Burrito's Blessing is really quite easy. (passives + loot = +55%, 20 pound hound = +59%, miner's helmet = +5%), so you're there. Sweet. Olfact dairy goats and be on your merry way. Should only take like 10 adventures total. You're done, make a hipposkin poncho, equip that, and don't take it off until NS time, even then, I might still leave it on for the DA.
Now, you're level 8 with the pirates still to do. Go get your insults, and open the f'c'le. At this time, your second yellow ray should be up. Blast a KGE thing in the Treasury. Do NOT use the Harem to get a KGE guard. There are 3 harem girls and 1 Guard in the harem selection list, whereas there is only 1 bean counter and 1 guard in the Treasury selection list.
You've got a few choices with the f'c'le. You could micromanage the hell out of this thing with a Jack in the Box, or you could just go forward with a Hound. I hate the fiddly micro of the Jack, so I go with the Hound. Clear the f'c'le, get your reward. Yay. The F'c'le quest items are 30% base drop rate, so getting +234% item will guarantee them dropping.
Now is a great time to open the Dungeons of Doom, go to the greater-than, and open that up. The new greater than is a pleasure to open, rather than a mind-numbing aggravation party. Runaways for teleportitis if you haven't already used them today isn't a terrible plan either. Not as useful as before, but still good.
I burn off extra teleportitis by doing the Daily Dungeon. Others who don't care about milk will use mining for ores to wear off teleportitis. I will often use llama, sandworm, pixie, or stocking when doing the daily dungeon, the combats give you a chance at some familiar drops.
At this point, you are probably still somewhere in level 8. It's really a toss-up whether i'm level 8 or 9 at this point. Some people would prefer to do the DoD right now, but I do not. I will go powerleveling, as there is nothing left to do (other than some stuff that I very intentionally put off, like 8-bit and DoD).
I go to Spookyraven manor. If the Bedroom is still not finished, finish that. Set the ballroom song if it has not been set yet. (set it to -combat%, if that wasn't obvious). If I am a Myst class, I will go back to the Bedroom with a bunch of +item% (+150%, actually), and get the hand mirror from the jilted mistress. Otherwise, as a Muscle class, open up the Gallery. This could suck without runaways, but oh well (use runaways in the conservatory!) If I am a moxie class, stay in the Ballroom, use a fairy (either pixie or slimeling, depending on what you want, MP or more absinthes), and olfact waltzers. This is also a good time to use an extra sugar shield, should you have one.
Your familiar should be: Sandworm or Sombrero-type in the Bathroom or Gallery. Fairy Type (not Hound!) in the Ballroom.
If I am a moxie class, I will stay in the Ballroom for the full 40 adventures of olfaction, even though I will certainly hit level 9 in there somewhere. This is because I only want to spend one olfaction stint in there. Any more would be a waste. If you happen to hit level 9 before olfacting, then olfact later on, during level 9. This is how it works a lot of the time.
Total run turncount is usually between 370 and 400
Your familiar should be: Hound Dog or other fairy-type for the Valley. I try to avoid the pixie or [charged] slimeling here, since those can kill adding machines prematurely.
Hit level 9, and do the Valley. Pretty straightforward. I do not use the ASCII semi-rare. Others do. There is debate on its merits. Some people swear by it, I am not convinced that it saves you more turns than distilled wines adds. There is a twist with the valley. This is where I start using absinthes for 5/1 leveling. If you don't know what that is, look up
“worm wood done quickly” on the wiki, and see that at 5 or 4 adventures of Absinthe Minded left, you'll get a stat adventure, and at 1 adventure of the effect left, you'll get another stat adventure. Commonly called 5/1 leveling.
After you have finished the Valley, you still have little else to do. Powerleveling is in order. Here's where the 40 turn ballroom stint usually goes as a moxie class. Or just straight up powerleveling as a Muscle or Myst class. Muscle/Myst, I will be using absinthes in here. Might even use a gong for Unpopular (if Myst).
Your day 2 is probably over, or nearly so, in this powerleveling area. Sometimes I hit level 10 on day 2, most of the time, I'm in the middle of level 9 somewhere.
Total run turncount is usually between 420 and 440
Usually starts by hitting level 10, and starting the airship. Yellow ray a tower item, if you can.
Your familiar should be: Slimeling or other fairy type (not Hound!). I do this to get SGEEAs, after you have 3 or 4 SGEEAs, you can switch to a sombrero type (sandworm) if you want.
Airship is easy. -combat%, +item%, trail Healers or ISOREs, whichever occurs first. ISORE may have a lower drop rate, but they are more likely to occur. The math of how many SGEEAs you expect from olfacting one or the other is very similar, such that there really is no realistic difference. Be mindful of what bounties are available, a Mech bounty on days 1, 2, or 3 is extremely good to grab, since you can get a good food or booze for use later. Especially at the filthworms, that +30% item is quite nice.
Your third semi-rare will probably come just before the airship, or sometime during it. Get a lunchbox (sensing a trend now? My semi-rares are lunchbox, wines, lunchbox, wines....).
Your familiar should be: Slimeling while running -combat% in the Castle. Hound while running +combat% in the castle.
Castle is also quite simple. Run -combat% and +item% until you get the Wheel set to having the Procrastination Giant guarding the Back Door. At that point, switch to +combat%. If you get all the items you need (journal, needle, fur, heavy D) before you get the wheel set properly, just continue with -combat%.
Your familiar should be: Hound Dog or other fairy-type for the HitS.
Do the HitS now. I know a lot of people like to save the HitS for flyering, but I don't, I find it's not necessary to leave it that late, and the stats in the HitS are quite nice. I usually get pretty close to 11 by the time i'm done with HitS. Here is also where I use the first SGEEA for Olfaction purposes. I olfact the first astronomer I see, and then SGEEA the effect away once I get the third star chart.
Your familiar should be: Fairy type (probably slimeling or pixie) while doing -combat% in the DoD. Hound while doing +combat% there.
I'm usually fairly close to 11 at this point, and i've got some SGEEAs. I will do the DoD at this point, looking for the zap wand and for large boxes. I olfact Quantum Mechanics and run -combat%, until I get the zap wand, at which point, I switch to +combat%. I keep getting and using large boxes until I have every potion (this is usually how it goes, as the Wand typically doesn't come for like 15-20 adventures anyway). I identify potions as I get them (if I get duplicates, I sling them against monsters). I will look for one of each potion that I need (there are only 5 effects you might need, be aware of that). If I identify all 5 of the Gate effects, then great. Get the wand if I haven't already gotten it. If I don't identify all 5 gate effects, but I do have at least 1 of every potion, and have identified the drunk potion, then that's sufficient too.
I generally do the Daily Dungeon here, before I forget. Get a DD item, zap it if necessary. If you got a non-key on day 2, then wait until after you get the second item on day 3 to zap, otherwise, if you do the DD after zapping, you could potentially get a duplicate, and have wasted a zap, which you may need tomorrow.
You should be absinthing or dance carding through the DD if you aren't level 11 already.
Total run turncount is usually between 540 and 600. Level 11 turncount is probably the benchmark that I pay most attention to. If you're not level 11 by the time you hit 600 turns, your 4-day run is in serious jeopardy.
Once level 11, start the MacGuffin. You only need +100% item drops for the panther/snake to drop the raven's parts.
Get the documents and a can of black paint. Do a shore trip.
Your familiar should be: Llama lama, Sandworm, pixie, stocking mimic for the Poop Deck and Belowdecks. Probably sandworm, just depends on what you need.
Now, I usually go to the Poop Deck. Run -combat% looking for swordfish. If you get the Set Sail, then use that for a big mainstat blast. Be aware that it costs 977 Meat, make sure you have that much on hand.
I olfact the gaudy pirate in belowdecks. Generally saves like 6 turns or so to do that.
Your familiar should be: Hound Dog for the Cellar. Don't use the Hound in the ballroom when searching for the non-combat though.
Now, instead of doing the palindome like most people would probably do, I go instead to the Ballroom, to open up the Cellar. Use non-combat mods for the cellar-opening adventure. Once you get the cellar open, do that, be aware of how the wine racks are set up, there is a specific pattern to them, if you don't know what i'm talking about, look it up on the “Wine Racks” page on the wiki, in the Notes section.
After the cellar is done and spookyraven is down, I use runaways in the Forest to open up the Temple, if I haven't opened it up on previous days. Then, go to the Beach, and get the Haggle adventure in the arid desert. If olfaction from gaudy pirates still isn't worn off, go to the Temple, and start opening that. Once olfaction wears off, I generally go to the Palindome, olfact Bob Racecar, and that's good. If i'm a moxie class, I'll run -combat%, otherwise, I run +combat%. Note that Drawn Onward is affected by -combat%, so it's advantageous to run -combat% once you get the hound and three pieces.
Talk to Mr. Alarm in the Laboratory. -combat% does help here too, though I probably wouldn't bother, he almost always shows up immediately anyway. I have had it take like 4 adventures for him to show up, but oh well.
After talking to him, you'll want to run +combat% for whitey's grove. Do not worry about olfacting in this area. After talking to him, but before giving him the wet stunt nut stew, the lion oil and bird rib are 35% base drops. This means that if you can get +186% item, they will be guaranteed drops. Using a 35 pound hound (+89.8%), passives (35%), loot (20%), goblin eyedrops (15%), miner's helmet (5%), and Brother Burrito's Blessing (+30% food and food components), you'll have +194.8% item. More than enough to guarantee the drops when you see those two monsters.
Give the wet stunt nut stew to Mr. Alarm. This is a 100% superlikely if you have the wet stunt nut stew, no need for combat modifiers. Kill Dr. Awkward.
Go back and keep opening the temple, if your olfaction is still active on Bob Racecar when you finish opening the temple, start clearing the city (with +combat%) until olfaction runs out. Then go to the Oasis/Desert section.
Your semi-rare is probably somewhere around here. Distilled Wines.
Your familiar should be: Sandworm or stat familiar until you need to get the drum machine, at which point, use a Hound or fairy. After getting the drum machine, switch back to Sandworm / stat familiar.
This section sucks. Nobody in their right mind likes it. Or in their left mind. Oasis for ultrahydrated. Desert for the assignment of getting the stone rose Oasis for the stone rose, olfact blurs to get the drum machine. Desert to turn in stone rose and paint the door black (this is one adventure!) Desert some more to show drum machine and get assigned 15 manual page quest. Oasis for the 15 manual pages. Desert for the hooks.
Note the combining of two pairs of superlikelies in the desert. This is very good, 'cause the area already bites. Anything that speeds it up is great. Some people like runaways here. I will generally only use runaways if i've got 1 turn of ultrahydrated left and am looking for a desert superlikely.
Clear the Hidden City. Run +combat%, Expect it to take 25 turns (on average, it's something like 23.6 turns to clear it), and you won't get annoyed with it taking the whole 25.
Go to the Pyramid. Your olfaction of blurs might have worn off by now. If it hasn't, then SGEEA it away, you'll want to olfact tomb rats. Get the carved wooden wheel. Go to the middle chamber with -combat% running, place the wooden wheel. This has to be done. Go back to the upper chamber and get tomb ratchets. If you are not yet trailing them, find and trail them before adding on your +item% stuff. You will need +190% item or more to make olfacting tomb rats worth more than -15% combat in the middle chamber (disregarding stat gain/loss for the dead adventures in the middle chamber). You will need 9 tomb ratchets. Use 2 ratchets, get the token from the lower chambers, use 4 ratchets, get the bomb from the lower chambers, use 3 ratchets, open up Ed's Chamber.
Day 3 is usually at an end here, or just about at an end. I do not fight Ed until flyering.
Total run turncount is usually between 670 and 720. You should hit level 12 tomorrow before 750 total turncount. If not, you could have a lot of problems.
Get to level 12. Dance carding, absinthing, roachform, whatever you've got. -combat% in your spookyraven area, whatever.
Put on your hippy costume, yellow ray a Frat Warrior. Go to the hippy camp with the frat war outfit on, -combat%, probably with a slimeling, maybe with a sandworm, depends on what you want (aguas or smashables, or even the other outfit if you were crazy enough to get some beer lenses and an extra box).
Once the war has begun, get the flyers. Kill Ed, flyering.
Go to the 8-bit Realm, as much ML as you've got. Flyer them, olfact bloopers for the digital key.
Gremlins, flyer them. I like using a buggedbear or stocking mimic here. Others like the bandersnatch for saucy salve help. Others might use a Jack while doing specific parts of the filthworms. The buggedbear, even though it is a potato, is extremely powerful. You can use the magnet even when the potato-type blocks the gremlin, if the gremlin would have used the tool that round, you will get the tool. It's pretty sweet.
Your familiar should be: Llama lama, sandworm, or Stocking Mimic.
Turn off the ballroom song, while flyering. Do not change it to another song. Turn it off. Turning it off will not consume an adventure, changing it to a different song will. The +item% or +ML will not save you anywhere near a turn on average. The ML might actually come close, but you're still burning a turn anyway, so you're still losing a portion of a turn. Just turn the song off.
Your familiar should be: Hound Dog, or the best fairy you've got.
You probably still have -combat% running. Filthworms is a great thing to do now. Keep flyering! You can do this out of uniform. Equip a miner's helmet, makeshift cape (if a myst class), and all the +item% stuff you've got. If you got a bounty food/booze, now would be an excellent time for that. Sugar shields, unicorn stickers, eyedrops of the ermine. Seriously, everything you've got for +item%. You want +300% or more. You could even justify interleaving this quest with the Junkyard for using the Jack in the Box, if you're crazy. Using the Jack for the first adventure here is not a bad idea though. You can justify it. Possibly even the first adventure with each gland effect, if you want.
You should be done flyering now, actually. If you are not, then if you still have some tower items to get, while you have the massive stack of +item% running, go for the easy-to-get-to ones if you can.
Your familiar should be: Hound Dog if you have it.
Then stack on all the +combat% you've got. Every last bit. Reodorant from yellow raying the hippy back on day 2, hound, musk, cantata, everything you have for +combat%. Go to Sonofa Beach. On average, this will take 18 adventures with +20% combat for the first 10, and +15% combat for the rest.
You should definitely be done with flyering after Sonofa Beach. If you are not, that's kinda rough, but you can go to your spookyraven powerleveling area and flyer there, checking every adventure to see if you've finished (mafia will also give a pretty accurate guess at your flyering tracking, if you're using mafia).
There should be about 70-90 or so turns left for the whole run, to clear the battlefield, do the nunnery, get to level 13, clear the NS, and all that fun stuff.
Your familiar should be: Sandworm or stat familiar.
Now, 9 adventures on the battlefield (1 non-combat + 8 combats) to open the Orchard, hand in the heart of the queen, 8 more adventures on the battlefield to open up the Nuns.
Put on all of the +meat% stuff you've got. You should be looking at +500% or more before meat demon, if you got the pieces for the meat demon, great. If not, oh well, don't try to get them. The only special case here would be if you still need an inkwell for the tower, you can justify olfacting the desks with a great deal of +item% (if your stickersword still has +item% on it), and get a second inkwell, if that's all you need for summoning the meat demon.
Passives (50), Polka (50), Polka Pop (55), nasal spray (30), stickersword (75), winklered (40), cranberry cordials (10), pink hearts (20), dread sack mad hatter buff (40). That's +370%, and then using 3 base pound monkey, sugar shield, sympathy, empathy, leash, pet-buffing spray, green candy hearts, that's 36 pound hobo monkey, for about +180%, that's +550%. You could also get a blackberry polite as a Myst or AT, if you're a Pastamancer, you might even have a Lasagmbie for +100% + 10%*lasagmbie_weight. Should only take about 16-18 adventures, or around 15-17 with meat demon.
26 adventures to clear the battlefield. Finish using absinthes and dance cards, if you have any left. Sandworm for stats is awesome. Gong for unpopular before doing the battlefield is also awesome.
Kill Wisniewski. You should be pretty close to level 13, unless it's not a stat day, and then you'll have some spookyraven leveling to do. Use gongs, absinthes, clovers (save one clover in case you need chewing gum for the tower though). Unless you needed a mariachi g-string, and got all of the chewing gums on your way through South of the Border.
Finish getting your tower items. Level to 13. The NS tower is straightforward, albeit a massive
click-fest. Mafia is amazing for automating parts of the NS quest. I let mafia do the Cavern, I do the hedge maze by hand. I let mafia automate the tower up to the shadow (unless i'm killing tower monsters by force. Woo!). I kill the shadow by hand. I let mafia do the NS familiars. Very easy. Then kill the NS. Nice and easy. I usually have anywhere between 10 and 100 adventures left at the end of day 4. Depends on stat days, class, and RNG.
You'll generally clock in at 900-950 turns for the whole run.
Food and Booze consumption have changed pretty dramatically with recent changes, you won't eat a grue egg omelette these days, since you don't want to buy a mushroom plot just for that, the pumpkin beer/pie also gives a huge boon in various places. I have not done any runs using the pumpkin consumables as of this writing, and will update the food/booze consumption when I do. The grue egg omelette, however, I replace with a reagent pasta, hi mein, or some such high yield food, depending on class/situation.
I summon 3 sugar sheets. Shield, Shirt, Chapeau. I tend to drink 3 ACs, two knob thermoses, and a barrel AC. I eat 2 hell ramen, 1 knob pasty, 2 fortune cookies (one early, one after the first semi-rare). 3 roc feathers.
I summon 3 stickers, hoping for unicorns and UPCs. I drink ACs or SHCs, depending on class, as well as 3 distilled fortified wines. I eat hell ramen or hi meins, depending on class. 3 aguas
I summon more stickers, if I still need them. I drink ACs or SHCs, thermoses and distilled wines. I eat knob pasties, 1 or 2 hi meins, 1 or 2 hell ramen, of course all depending on class. 3 aguas.
If the RNG is mean, and I still need stickers, i'll summon more, otherwise, shields. Drink AC/SHC, distilled wines, thermoses, hi meins, level 12 food, hell ramen (if any left), knob pasties. All depends on class and what is available.
With the tome summons, I will do 2 stickers, 1 sugar for a shield during the run on day 2 and 3 as well.
Pretty much always run a fairy when you need an item to drop. Run a stat familiar (llama, bandersnatch, sandworm) otherwise, as a good rule to start. You can expand out to other familiars when you get comfortable with them. Starfishes, stocking mimic, that kinda thing.
Libram summons are usually candy hearts on day 1, three or four favors on days 2+, looking for poppers, and some love songs or additional candy hearts otherwise. I hope this helps you!