Bad Moon Guide

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NOTE: This guide is painfully out of date. As of this edit, it was last modified in January of 2011.

NOTE: The links provided in the forum version of this guide have not been included yet, as many edits need to be made, and I'm too lazy to do all that linking so someone can just remove half of them later :P

NOTE: Please use the thread on the Hogs of Destiny Forums for any comments/questions on this guide.



Unlike other types of runs, there is a formula to Bad Moon. Because every player starts from the same point, there are fewer options and thus, a guide can be made that tells you exactly how to do your run in the fastest possible time. So this is my attempt to explain how to speed through a bad moon run. It is, however, only a suggested route. You should read through the goals and ideas for each day and go about them in the best way you think you can. Every run is different and any progress will require changing plans and playing according to how lucky or unlucky you are. Comments and criticisms are welcome. I do not pretend to know everything, but I think I have some good ideas.

I comment on class differences, but have tried to make it a general guide. You may be a day behind as a Myst-class or a day ahead as a Moxie-class, but you should be able to finish day 5 with liver of steel. Do not worry too much about my division into 12 days - it is a rough way for you to assess how ahead or behind you are. Note that there are sections after the day-by-day guide that advice on a variety of BM-related topics that you should probably read before starting your run. Always read a few steps ahead to decide if it is more optimal to switch steps. Obviously, every run will be different and choices due to stat days, holidays, BHH choices, luck, and personal goals will alter how you play. Hopefully, this guide will provide the backbone for you to customize your BM run and get through it in good time.

It is recommended that you download and use mafia if possible. Mafia changes the interface of KOL dramatically. Most people just open the relay browser when they first start using mafia because it looks very similar to normal KOL, but it spoils choice adventures, keeps track of things like semi-rares, warns you from accidentally ruining a 100% black cat run, logs your run, and has a plethora of other useful functions to make your run easier and less time-consuming.

The guide should help everyone, but is primarily geared towards players who have never done a BM run before. Top leaderboard spots will require deviation from the guide in several spots, but it should help speed players too, if nothing else, as a checklist of things to do and not to do.

Finally, note that this is not the only version of this guide. There is an outdated version that I have taken down from our website as well as a version of the wiki that I do not update.

Day 1

  1. Get & open letter, equip what you can, use klaw, visit artist to start his quest and start Doc Galaktik's quest (you really should complete this quest as an Accordion Thief, it is optional for other classes). Use your tent for extra MP & HP during rollover. Autosell klaw items.
    1. Note: If you are doing a 100% black cat run, go to the Noob Cave and get the Surprising! adventure right now!
  2. Haunted Pantry to open mansion. Use the Dolphin King's map if you get it before opening the mansion.
  3. Buy & eat fortune cookie.
  4. Do first guild task as soon as you have a buffed mainstat of 9.
  5. Sell your spleen rewards.
  6. Go to the top row of the barrels until you have enough spleen items to sell that you have 500 meat. Keep any booze and use spleen items of your class if you find them.
  7. Use the 400 meat on Pride.
  8. Use 300 meat on Brimstone foods from Hell's Kitchen. This should get you to level 2, which is important to do ASAP.
  9. As soon as you hit level 2, choose a BHH bounty.
  10. Go to the Spooky forest for the mosquito larva.
  11. Use 500 meat to get a terrarium.
    1. Note: If you are doing a 100% black cat run, you will skip this step.
  12. Get a volleyball & seal tooth, use your blood-faced volleyball. Alternatively, you can skip spending 260+ meat to get the volleyball now and wait until level 3 to get a smiling rat, which is functionally equivalent. Personally, I think the ~40 extra combats you get to have a volleyball equipped for before the tavern is open and survivable make waiting for the smiling rat suboptimal, but the choice it yours. Also note that it is possible to clear the tavern and not find a smiling rat. Note: If you are doing a 100% black cat run, you will skip this step.
  13. Keep adventuring in the woods until you get the 1000 meat from the BM adventure. The missing kidney effect is most likely just a joke and it does not actually do anything good or bad. Also get the tree-holed coin adventure, which gives you another 300 meat.
  14. Get Envy as soon as you have the meat.
  15. Sleazy back alley until Chronologically Pummeled. If you are lucky, you will get a bum cheek and Harold's Bell. Always go for the bell if it is available - it can to save turns later.
  16. Haunted kitchen 10 times. You may need to use the Styx pixie buff and your trivial skill to make the requirement to adventure there. If you are a Myst class, you should run from the possessed silverware drawer and get yourself a shiny butcherknife (see the class survival guide for details). If Pastamancer, get scintillating powder here.
  17. Eat what you find and drink bottles of popskull, but keep at least 1 booze that gives 3 drunkeness. You should get enough food from the Haunted kitchen to be full. Brimstone foods from Hell's Kitchen are expensive and they kill your offstats. Mysticality classes should always avoid them, but other classes can get away with eating a few on day 1 and 2. You can also cheat by getting an offstat reduced to 0, in which case you cannot get negative stats. Moxie classes can opt to get ye olde golde frontes or a bejeweled accordion strap to get your HP high enough not to get killed after eating Brimstone foods, but this is not recommended since you do not need to open the store and it is very expensive. Muscle classes have the least to lose from Brimstone foods since MP is not used much early on.
  18. Outskirts of the Knob until you either hit level 3 or find the key . If you get the Wounded Guard Quest, it is worth it for the ring of half-assed regeneration.
  19. Once you reach level 3, the tavern will be open and you can buy overpriced beer from bart ender. Get to 14 drunkeness. If you opted to not get a blood-faced volleyball, you should adventure in the tavern now until you get a smiling rat, but you will probably need to buff up to survive.
  20. If it only takes a few turns (you already have 2-3 items needed), farm for a gourd potion.
  21. Drink your 3 drunkeness nightcap.
    1. Note: Don't forget a knob lunchbox for your semi-rare, which should be occurring at the end of today or early tomorrow. You can use the rewards right away.

Your main goals for the day are to get Pride & Envy, get a blood-faced volleyball, eat & drink to fullness, and get close to lvl 4 (but don't worry if you just got past lvl 3).

If you get beaten up, you can try to get a fairy gravy boat from the Haiku dungeon. Try to use HP restorers as much as you can without being wasteful with meat so you do not get beaten up. You only have 1 skill that uses MP, so you might as well use it as much as possible.

You should always find the best use of the Styx Pixie Buffs. Note that they not only give buffed stats. Hella Tough gives you 10 turns of +25% muscle as well as +10 weapon damage and +5 damage reduction. Hella Smart gives + 25% mysticality, + 10-15 MP per turn, and +15 spell damage. Hella Smooth gives +25% moxie, +20% items, and +40% meat. The best places to use these buffs each day are in green.

You should use special Bad Moon adventures to your advantage. Ones that require a trigger usually occur soon after they are triggered (1-5 turns). Ones with no trigger may be more variable (or the trigger is unknown).

Day 2

  1. Each day from now on, you need to do three things. First, get and autosell klaw items. Second, check the bounty and if you can get it in a few turns, finish yesterday's bounty. If not, try a new one. Do not use the lucre yet. You will need 2 lucres on day 4. Third, check what the daily dungeon holds using the Noblesse Oblige Calendar. Now match the stat tests with this chart. If you can pass all the tests today, try getting a key. You do not have to do it first thing, but keep it in mind for when you get beaten up, etc. A key in the next 3 days is very important and the key that matches your class is what you want. After you get it, ignore the dungeon until late in the game. You will only need to do the dungeon twice. Skip the first two chests - they are not worth it. Also note that tomorrow you may get a skeleton key which will save a turn or two in the dungeon, so you may want to wait until tomorrow.
  2. Haiku Dungeon for knob mushroom and fairy gravy boat. If you get a spooky mushroom, save it for later. You also may be lucky enough to get the bugbear outfit here. Note: If you are doing a 100% black cat run, you should skip this step.
  3. Buy a Dramatic Range from the Nervewrecker's Store for 500 meat and install it. Note that you do not actually need the Range until you start cooking lime pies and you can get away with buying a E-Z Cook oven for 50 meat to use for the next few days if you are short on meat. Buy My First Shaker from the marketplace for 50 meat and install it unless you are a Disco Bandit. Disco Bandits will want a Queue Du Coq cocktailcrafting kit from Nervewrecker's Store for 500 meat, but only need one after they reach level 5 and have the cocktailcrafting skill. Note: Do not buy the market versions for 1000 meat!
  4. Cook up a pregnant mushroom and put a Baby Gravy Fairy in your terrarium. Now you can use the fairy whenever you need to farm items. Note: If you are doing a 100% black cat run, you should skip this step.
  5. Farm the Haunted Kitchen for all food and drink Overpriced beer for booze.
  6. Tavern Cellar until you find the Baron's Mansion. Leave it for now - the Baron is too tough to defeat right now. If you have trouble defeating rats, you can delay fighting in this zone until you craft your Epic Weapon.
  7. Turn in rat whiskers for a nice pot of meat (this may require that you spend turns to complete the side quest).
  8. Do second guild task (your buffed mainstat should be higher than 13), get shopping list, visit untinker.
  9. Degrassi knoll to get meat car. If you get a maiden wig, 1-2 frilly skirts, or an extra spring, do not autosell them because they will be needed later. Turtle tamers will want to open the guild before going to the knoll in order to tame 2 furry green turtles to be used for cold resistance at level 8. Note that a fairy is worth using to get Gnollish toolboxes, but a volleyball should be used after you have the empty meat tank.
  10. Go back to knoll after meat car is built to get 2000 meat from the BM adventure (Note that this adventure will cause you to lose all MP and your mysticality will likely drop to 1 for 10 turns).
  11. Finish guild tasks to gain entry to store (do not bother if you are moxie class).
  12. Get 1000 meat from guild to start epic weapon quest.
  13. Buy tenderizing hammer from Nervewrecker's store for 500 (not 1000 from market).
  14. Make epic weapon.
  15. Decide how you want to Kill the Baron. You have many options. A. Moxie classes can use moxious maneuver and up their moxie & damage reduction (via having sloth). B. Mysticality classes can use the Hella Tough buff, use a Ben Gal Balm, and have sloth so he can only hit you for a small amount of damage since your moxie is low, but HP and damage reduction are high. You should be able to get enough spells to land to kill him this way. Pastamancers get a few extra turns to do this since they can use entangling noodles. C. Muscle classes can do pretty much the same as Myst classes, but use your level 0 skills (clobber / toss). D. Go to the Cemetary to open the Battlefield and get a grenade in the Battlefield. This takes a few turns and the grenade may take some time to drop. It also may be hard to adventure here - so use the Styx Pixie Buff and make sure you have sloth for the damage reduction. The advantages are that the Baron is easy to kill - just get initiative and use one grenade to kill him (if you get beaten up, just try again), stat gains are good, you pick up a nice outfit for occasional MP and an decent shield. E. If you have the knob elite gear and can access the laboratory, throwing 6 stink bombs should allow you to hit the Baron and kill him. The monocle is a really nice item to have the whole game and is worth the trouble to get.
  16. At this point, moxie classes need to decide if they want to get a chef (read here) because if they do not, they can skip the next 3 zones. All other classes and players who have decided to get a chef should go to the Fun house for 1 box, the bugbear outfit, and the Legendary Epic Weapon. The bugbear outfit will be necessary soon for making pies. You can also try farming for it in Degrassi Knoll where the drop rate is double that of the Fun House, but the number of monsters is also double. The LEW is an excellent weapon for moxie classes and Saucerors, not bad for muscle classes, and practically useless for Pastamancers.
  17. Sell your tenderizing hammer once you have made the LEW (unless you are a SC or TT who does not intend to get Armorcraftiness).
  18. Cemetary to open the tower and farm a smart skull (you may need the Styx pixie buff). This is a good place for Turtle Tamers to grab some Turtle wax. If you are lucky, you might get a dead guy's watch. If you get the Braaains effect, the highest meat drops will be from the cemetery and tower, so do not waste these turns.
  19. Fernswarthy's Tower to complete wizard of ego quest and get 1 disembodied brain.
  20. If you were lucky enough to get the maid wig, skirt, and an extra engine it is worth farming an extra brain and skull to make a meat maid. Make one now. If you did not get the wig and skirt and you have the bugbear outfit it is not worth farming in degrassi knoll. You will eventually need the bugbear outfit and it is best to farm it from degrassi knoll.
  21. You should have enough meat to buy a class specific skill or Sloth. Healing skills are really nice early on unless you are a muscle class, in which case you can use medicinal herbs.

If you get beaten up you can farm a spooky mushroom from Haiku dungeon, farm a spring from degrassi knoll, or go to the spooky forest until temple is open.

Your main goals for the day are to get a gravy fairy, open the guild store if you are a non-moxie classes, make your epic weapon, and kill the baron. The only reason you would try to get a brain today would be if you want to make a meat maid and this will not happen most runs since you are unlikely to get the wig and skirt from the knoll. You should try to get 1 skull today though because of the chance of getting a dead guy's watch. You should be lvl 5 by now.

Day 3

  1. Finish getting all the parts for a chef-in-the-box other than a chef's hat and install it if you have a chef's hat. Note that only Pastamancers will actually need the chef now, but you should finish up in the Fun House, Degrassi Knoll, Cemetary, and Tower Ruins because these zones have other good items, are easy to fight in, and will help you plan your day better.
  2. You should decide if you want to get a Leprechaun at this point. Check here for my advice. If you want it, get it now by going to the Barroom Brawl.
  3. If you have a bum cheek, you can skip this step. If not, go to the harem to farm a Knob Goblin harem veil.
  4. Using the stench resistance of the bum cheek or veil, go to the Guano junction for 1 sonar-in-a-biscuit. Briefcases should most likely be opened since you need the meat, but if you can manage to save one, it may save you some turns much later. As soon as the Batrat and Ratbat Burrow is open, go there for the next sonar. Next go to the Beanbat Chamber until a third sonar drops. One enchanted bean will be needed later, but the rest can be to cook and eat Insanely spicy enchanted bean burritos. Pastamancers will not need to farm spices, but other classes will want to got to the Knob Kitchens. Note that the burrow has a higher drop rate for sonars, but getting enough to eat is a bit more important. Fighting a screambat will replace the need for a sonar.
  5. Eat until full. Your diet will consist of burritos, pizzas, and pies. Farm what you are missing.
  6. Go to the Cobb's Knob Barracks until you get the KGE outfit. Since you are guaranteed to get it in under 9 turns because of the footlocker and the tasty tarts semi-rare[/u] is worth ~9.5 turns, you are better off farming for the outfit. Remember that you are also gaining stats this way and possibly getting some mediocre food.
  7. Once you have the outfit, put it on. Adventure in the Kitchens three times. Bake the knob cake - it will cost you 1 turn. Adventure one time in the Barracks to get the password to the lab.
  8. King's chamber to finish quest (use volleyball). Take a look at the Heartbreaker's Hotel section to decide if you want something other than the crown. This can be a tough fight and is therefore a good spot to use the Hella Smooth buff.
  9. You now have access to several daily rewards that you can get by adventuring in the knob while wearing the KGE outfit. They each cost 1 turn. The only one that is really worthwhile is the one from the Harem, which gives you 25 of each stat. You should get this each day until you are able to powerlevel (late level 9) because until then there are not any better places to gain stats. After level 9, you should cease using this daily reward. The other daily rewards include 300 meat from the and 50 HP and MP from the [url=]Barracks. Neither is optimal, but you may want to keep them in mind if you are having problems.
  10. Boss Bat's lair to kill the Boss Bat. With the Hella Smooth buff still running, you will gain some more meat and the fights will be easy. If you decided to get a leprechaun, use it. Again, decide if you want to get a different boss reward by messing with Heartbreaker's Hotel.
  11. Now that the Boss Bat quest is done, go to The Bat Hole Entryway until you get "Onna Stick", which gives 3000 meat, but gives you 10 turns of -20 moxie.
  12. Now that you are weak, you can spend 10 turns in an easier area like the outskirts of the knob for a chef's hat or spooky forest until you get the special BM adventure that grants torso awaregness.
  13. South of the Border until you get "Beaten Senseless", you now have 4000 meat. You can use rollover to remove the beaten up effect.
  14. Sell the dense meat stacks. You now have plenty of meat for skills.

If you get beaten up go to the spooky forest until temple is open and you have torso awaregness, farm a chef's hat if you still do not have one, go to the billiards room, or go to temple for awesome stats (in order of importance).

Your main goals for the day are to get a some better food, equipment, and some meat for some more skills. You should be lvl 6 by now.

Depending on your class, consider eating the following foods (in order of adventures): knob pasties, tasty tarts, insanely spicy bean burritos, spicy noodles, boring spaghetti, pizzas, lemon pie / strawberry pie / ghoul egg pie / lihc eye pie / brains casserole, and tacos. Avoid eating anything other than these foods. Farm what you need and get just enough to get you through today and tomorrow. A good way of knowing what it is best to eat can be found here.

Some people suggest leveling using the temple or cola battlefield undisguised. While this is not a bad idea for a few turns, you have many tasks to complete at the moment and leveling fast may not get your run done faster. So I would say that leveling now is optional.

The knob goblin uniform has several uses. You can get daily stats, which are helpful until better sources of stats become available. It provides access to seltzers for MP restoration, which is useful for non-mysticality classes that do not have access to MMJ. Although meat is scarce at the moment, consider using pet-buffing spray when you are farming (it equals about an 8% increase in item drops) in areas with few non-combats where you can stand to loose 10% stats. Learning pills are not really worth the stats they give.

Day 4

  1. Getting KGE outfit stats should be added to your daily tasks for the next few days.
  2. You need a couple things for the day. You need at least 1 lucre for an odor extractor. Get it at all costs (unless you are a Pastamancer - see why here). An additional one for an Oreille Divisee brandy would be ideal, but is not necessary or worth too many extra turns spent. You also need the bugbear outfit and at least 1 daily dungeon key (most preferably the one of your class). Make sure you have ~10 turns left when you start step 5 (ideally with 12 fullness left).
  3. Use all the buffs you can (cans of hair spray, Ben-Gal Balm, etc.) and do the Friar's quest. You should use your volleyball for the heart & elbow and your fairy in the neck until you have both a wussiness potion and ruby W for the tower.. Turtle tamers - do not forget to equip your turtle wax helmet and collect Turtlemail bits here. Hopefully, you got 3 hot wings - if you have a frilly skirt, put it along with the 3 hot wings in your closet because you will need them much later.
  4. Go to Belilafs Comedy Club until you have 5 imp air and have all 3 quest items. The Hellhound Puppet can give you some extra stats in zones that are really easy, but be careful having too much +Monster Level - the stats gains are small, but the difference in combat difficulty is significant. Observational glasses are a nice accessory for when you need to farm and the hilarious comedy prop is a good club for Seal Clubbers. It can also be used in 100% noncombat zones to provide HP & MP.
  5. Talk to Mourn to receive your rewards.
  6. Depending on the number of turns you have left, you need to decide if you want to get Liver of Steel (step 4), start farming limes (step 8), or do both today. Farming limes can yield a significant number of extra turns today if you have not eaten or drank, but you may farm fewer limes than necessary to fill your belly until you get to level 12 food. In other words, eating 3 lime pies today provides the same number as turns tomorrow, but liver provides extra 10 turns that can not be gained otherwise.
  7. If you decide to obtain the steel margarita, go to Hey Deze Arena until you solve the puzzle and have 5 bus passes.
  8. Visit Moaning Panda Square and Azazel's Temple to obtain steel margarita. Extra imp airs and bus passes should be saved for boss fights - they are pretty good combat items.
  9. Go to the Laboratory until you get the Cobb's Knob Menagerie Key.
  10. Buff up and head to Menagerie level 1 with your fairy, which should be 7-8 lbs. Use the odor extractor on the fruit golem. Now get the +30% item effect from Oreille Divisee brandy, equip your monocle, use pet-buffing spray, eyedrops, Hella Smooth buff, and burrito blessing for the added food drop bonus. It may be hard for you to survive this zone so early, but farming cherries & limes yield a ton of extra turns. You may consider first going to the knob treasury or knob harem for a +40 muscle or moxie buff respectively. Note that this has the disadvantage of cutting down the weight of your fairy, but it may be necessary. If you have not used it yet, the +20 muscle from the knob outskirts could also be used. Stop once you have enough food to eat for the day or once your burrito blessing runs out.

You should not get beaten up much anymore. Keep your HP up and do not fight things that are beyond your ability to hit. If you do get beaten up, spend turns in the 8-bit realm.

Your main goals for the day are to finish the get liver of steel and start farming limes. You should be at lvl 7 now.

From now on, you should be eating 3 key limes pies plus a 2 knob pasties, 1 fortune cookie and 1 pasty, or 1 hot wing. Consider that you will need to farm the menagerie again to have enough food for the rest of your run. You should do it sometime in the next 3-4 days. Pastmancers will be able to cook lo meins once they open the hippy store and should consider this instead of lime farming since the turns gained from lo meins is similar to lime pies.

You should continue drinking coffee, distilled fortified wine, sangrias, old-fashioneds, Advanced Cocktailcrafting bases, schnapps, and Overpriced "imported" beer. Disco Bandits will have access to 3 advanced cocktails each day - one should be used as a nightcap.

Day 5

  1. Use your burrito blessing and Styx Pixie buff to finish up "On The Trail" turns in Menagerie level 1.
  2. If you still do not have the dungeon key of your class, go to the Greater-Than Sign until you find the plus sign and then the oracle. To get rid of any remaining turns of teleportitis you can go to the daily dungeon (although if you have already gone here twice, there is no point in going again) or craft something (only possibly if you are a Disco Bandit or muscle class). Otherwise you will just have to adventure and hope to land on some good monsters to fight.
  3. Dungeon of Doom to get a wand, ! potions, and hopefully a ring of aggravate monster or two. The main purpose of the wand is zapping dungeon keys, but also consider zapping outfits, rings, and class specific food and booze. Only use one zap a day. If you already have the right key and the outfit pieces you need, this can wait a day or two.
  4. If you need to finish getting Liver of Steel, do so now.
  5. Whitey's Grove to open The Road to the White Citadel. If you have a briefcase and no frilly skirt, you should get a mullet wig, which you will need later. Other choice adventures worth getting include a white collar, boxes of wine, and jars of white lightning.
  6. The Road to the White Citadel to complete quest (get lucky rabbit's foot) and get the hippy outfit. The rabbit's foot is very nice to have in bad moon. Note that seltzer is still better for regenerating MP than cherry cloaca cola. If you have enough fruit for nightcaps and filler food, and you are not a Mysticality class, you can try to delay getting the hippy outfit until level 9, at which point you can get it faster by going to the Hippy Camp.
  7. Whitey's Grove again for the bad moon adventure (gain 5000 meat, get -20% stats for 10 turns).
  8. Take 5 trips at the shore to open the island. You can now drink shots using fermenting powder and fruit. They give the same number of turns at Overpriced beer and cost more, but give a few stats. Some people spread out their shore trips by 35 turns to ensure each of the 3 possible last tower items - I feel this is a waste of time since you automatically get in correct item once you know what it is at the tower, you might be able to zap the right item, and the shore provides useful stats/items.
  9. If you do not have one yet, you should try for a dead guy's watch from The Defile Alcove. Use your fairy until one drops - no need to clear it yet though.

This is probably all you can handle for today. You may be worried about the number of quests you still have not completed, but you have more important goals right now. Your main goal is to get access to the hippy store and finish up yesterday's tasks. You should have a good supply of food from limes or spices and noodles. You should have access to booze from the hippy store, market, and Bart Ender. You can get MP from the laboratory store. And you have some good equipment for item farming: a high-weight fairy, envy, Baron's monocle, and a rabbit's foot. Consider stat days and follow the order of progression, but days at this point may blend into one another. You should end the day at or close to lvl 8.

The White Citadel quest is better than getting the hippy outfit from the hippy camp in all but one situation - if you can set up a hippy bounty from the bounty hunter. If that bounty shows up, skip the Citadel quest and get your bounty along with around the world's. See the lucre management section far below for more details.

Day 6

  1. Do what you need to to reach level 8 if you are not there yet. You can do steps 4 & 5 or farm pixels if necessary.
  2. Itznotyerzitz Mine for outfit.
  3. Go Inside of Itznotyerzitz Mine for the requested ore and get a new weapon (hopefully chrome for the extra adventures). Pastamancers will want to find a lump of diamond and make the Staff of the Soupbone now.
  4. Billiards room to open library
  5. Haunted Library to open both upstairs and get 1-2 scrolls of unspeakable evil. If you are a Disco Bandit, the scroll will save you 6 turns much later, but a second is unnecessary. Other classes save at least 9 turns for the first scroll and about 6 for the second. Open the gallery if you get the adventure, because you may need the potato sprout. Scroll down to the section of leveling on day 8 for more information about the gallery. If you are a Mysticality class, try to get the Cookbook of the Damned.
  6. Pirate's Cove for outfit.
  7. Goatlet for 6 goat cheese & sabre teeth (do not forget burrito blessing). This may also be the best spot to use Hella Smooth for the day. Glasses of goat's milk can be used by Saucerors to craft milk of magnesium.
  8. Turtle tamers with furry green earmuffs can finish the Mt. McLargeHuge Quest. Other classes should wait to get cold resistance in a few days when it is easier to get.
  9. If you are running out of limes, consider farming more from the Menagerie level 1 using an odor extractor, all your + item gear, and burrito blessing still active, .
  10. Buy gluttony. You now have 16 fullness each day, which means you can eat 4 key lime pies! Up until this point, the extra adventures were not as valuable as the extra stats, but you will start leveling much faster pretty soon.
  11. If you hit level 9, you can do the Strange Leaflet quest to get the house and grue egg (for an omelette), but wait until a stat day to get the boost.

Day 7

  1. Today is all about powerleveling. It would be great if it fell on a stat day and you have banked turns. Mysticality classes will want their one stat day to ideally be tomorrow instead. Use the stat gains from the strange leaflet.
  2. Go to Barrrtleby's Bookstore to buy dictionary & book of insults. Untinker the dictionary.
  3. Orc Chasm to finish quest. Don't forget to get the semi-rare first. If you get extra scrolls, going for a 31337 scrollis worthwhile. You also need at least one lowercase n. A meat vortex, and f3d0r4 are also good to have. This is probably the best place to use Corican's Blessing today. You can sell the facsimile dictionary or, if you are a Seal Clubber, make a sword behind inappropriate prepositions.
  4. Make sure you are at 19 drunkeness before going to Barrrney's Barrr to get the highest stat gains from noncombats. Use the insult book until you get 6 insults. If you get choice adventures, always go with stats. For A Test of Testarrrsterone, moxie classes should choose option 3 and other classes option 1 (option 2 usually gives less stats at this level and yields drunkenness). You should get enough rum to restock your nightcaps. Turtle Tamers - do not forget to tame a padded tortoise here.
  5. Use Cap'm Caronch's Map with leprechaun equipped if you have one.
  6. There are three ways to get through the Orcish Frat House blueprints: 1. equip the frat boy ensemble (option 1), 2. equip a mullet wig and have a briefcase (option 2), or 3. equip a frilly skirt and have 3 hot wings (option 3). Option 3 is the easiest - if you do not have the frilly skirt, it drops in the Orcish Frat House. Option 2 is difficult because it most likely means waiting until late level 11 for a briefcase. Option 1 may just require a wand zap or may require farming in the Orcish Frat House. At level 10, the non-combats show up quickly to drop your missing parts. If you happen to have the Frat Outfit or a frilly skirt and 3 hot wings, you can finish up the Barrr and move on to the F'c'le (if not, wait until level 10 and get the mullet wig or Frat Outfit as needed).
  7. Barrrney's Barrr for Insult Beer Pong.
  8. F'c'le with maximum item drop equipment and a fairy. You may want to briefly visit the Haunted Bathroom and try to get You Look Flushed for +item drops. Hopefully you will get a barrrnacle. Some other nice drops here too like the curmudgel. Get fledges.
  9. Haunted Bedroom to open Haunted Ballroom. Get spectacles if you can. This may be tough, so avoid combats and choose meat or your mainstat.
  10. Haunted Ballroom until you get the quartet adventure. Choose second option for-5% combats. This is almost always helpful and the few spots where it is not helpful barely make a difference.
  11. Clear the Crypt. Remember to use the non-combats well: always pick your mainstat, always choose the second option in the cranny, and ignore the rest. Remember that you will want a spare skeleton key for the tower, so do not sell all those skeleton bones and teeth. Use your volleyball. If you have a leprechaun, you can use it a bit in the alcove and cranny (after spending the first 7 or so turns in each zone so that you fight the bosses with your leprechaun). This area is done after the ballroom song is set to make it go a few turns faster.
  12. Kill the Bonerdagon. You may want to consider using Heartbreaker's Hotel for different rewards. You may need the Hella Smooth Buff and others to survive. Open the chest for stats and meat if this is a stat day and make your badass belt.
  13. At this point, you will want to do some powerleveling. How you do this depends on your class and how you want to play. See the powerleveling section for details.
  14. You will also need to decide now how you want to get +5 familiar weight for the giant familiars at the tower (the other +15 will be taken care of). There are three options: 1. spend time setting up the guy made of bees to finish the arena sidequest easily and maybe get a guy made of bee pollen for +6-10 turns and some nice stats, 2. If you are a Pastamancer or Turtle Tamer, you can spend 12,500 and 6,500 respectively on class specific skills, 3. You can do the arena sidequest by slapping fliers on left over quests like the pyramid chambers and 8-bit realm - you will probablyfind this last option to be really difficult.

Your main goals today are to take advantage of stats days with the Crypt and Barrr noncombats, Bonerdagon chest, and the strange leaflet. You should also set the ballroom song today. You should be close to or at lvl 10. You should have enough food via limes to last until better food becomes easily accessible in a few days.

Day 8

  1. Finish getting to level 10. Use Corsican's Blessing to add a lb to your fairy or volleyball.
  2. Finish up Barrr & F'c'le if you have not done so already.
  3. Fantasy Airship for a metallic A. Use your fairy here for many other useful items that can drop. Get the S.O.C.K.
  4. Use cold resistance from a titanium assault umbrella, oil of parrrlay, furry green earmuffs if you are a Turtle Tamer, or elemental saucesphere if you are a Sauceror to finish the Mt. McLargeHuge quest.
  5. Cook a cocoa egg and get yourself a cocoabo. Once you hit level 11, this familiar is going to be really helpful. He will heal you, let you use more spells to kill things, attack, let you keep your buffs running, and even give you some meat every so often. He should basically replace your volleyball once you get to lvl 11 because stat gain is based more on noncombats.
  6. Use a few bang! potions after getting drunk. If you get teleportitis, you can use soft green eyedrops to get rid of it. You want to find the potions that causes drunkenness and also figure out your other potions since these are useful for boosting stats and item drops. You can also safely discover which potion is which by throwing them in combat, but you do not get any beneficial effects you find. Bad effects are easily dealt with by going to an easier zone, so I recommend testing them while drunk. Use spares wisely and keep 1 of each for the tower.
  7. Use Styx Pixie Buff in preparation for the Castle tomorrow.

This another good day to be powerleveling. It should be your second day if you are a moxie or muscle class. If you are ahead of schedule on day 6, just do the most important tasks and bank turns. You want to spend most of your turns on these two days. Ideally you will want to have 200 turns ready on day 7 and have all the best foods and drinks ready to maximize turns. For example, you should save your grue egg omelette for this day. Mysticality classes should probably have day 9 as their second stat day, which allows day 1 to also be a stat day. Again, just do the most important tasks and save zones that provide the most stats for this day.

You should be at level 10. You have plenty of nice equipment by now. Do not get beaten up here! You may be getting hit hard, so keep your HP up at all times. If you do manage to get beaten up, time to farm a few pixels with +ML gear on. This is the reason you waited to go there until now. Turtle Tamers should farm blue shells whenever they go to the 8-bit Realm to make it go faster.

Day 9

  1. Use Styx Pixie Buff and Corsican's Blessing. Go to Castle, keeping the wheel turned to your main stat. You can use a volleyball here, but you do want to get three thin black candles before leaving for every scroll of ancient forbidden unspeakable evil you have. Having two scrolls and six candles would be great. You will also want to keep two chaos butterflies for later - one for the ducks sidequest and one for the tower. Try to turn the wheel a second time just before hitting level 11. If you visit the council to finish the quest after turning the wheel, it will trigger a BM adventure that can be used to fight tough monsters - use it wisely. You may want to use it since it may steal an inhaler if you try for one later.
  2. Powerlevel your way to level 11. Also, you are strong enough to easily fight monsters in places that were difficult before. Although the numbers change a little, the order of best places to go does not change at higher levels.
  3. Black Forest to open the Black Market. Don't forget to buy a few anti-anti-antidotes before adventuring here to avoid getting poisoned. Picnic baskets and blackberry schnapps are good consumables. Warning: If you are doing a black cat run, don't forget to requip your cat after using the blackbird.
  4. Buy forged identification documents and a can of black paint.
  5. Shore for MacGuffin diary. Don't forget to equip your hilarious comedy prop for extra Hp and MP.
  6. Test a few more ! potions.

Again, avoid getting beaten up by keeping your HP high and farm pixels or use a tiny house if you do happen to get beaten up. Avoid using soft green eyedrops, they are far too valuable to be used now on removing beaten up effects. You should reach level 11 today.

Day 10

  1. Do not drink anything yet, but finish eating all your best foods. Today will hopefully be the last day you eat key lime pies. Remember to save one lime because you may need a sabre-toothed lime at the tower. Your goal is to make it to level 12 and finish the filthworm quest early enough tomorrow to use the rewards from the orchard to craft some of the best food and drink you can find in BM.
  2. Arid Desert until you find Gnashir and unlock the Oasis. Don't forget to equip your hilarious comedy prop for extra HP and MP.
  3. Get rid of bad effects by going to Hidden Temple for a few turns.
  4. Get ultrahydrated in the Oasis, then find Gnashir again in the Arid Desert.
  5. Oasis until you get stone rose and drum machine. Use your fairy - there are lots of great items to be had here.
  6. Finish Gnashir's quest. If you have extra turns of ultrahydrated, use then in the Arid Desert with a fairy because you may get lucky with some useful items. Use spleen items if they drop. Turn every five handfuls of sand into a brick of sand.
  7. Go to the Haunted Ballroom until the adventure which opens the Wine Cellar. If you find the quartet, do not bother changing the song.
  8. Wine Cellar buffed up as much as you can to get some glyph 4 wines and finish that part of the quest. This is a good spot for Styx Pixie Buff. Use Smothers Blessing too. You can drink now since you should have a nice supply of superior booze: glyph 4 wines, Black & Tans, Supernova Champagne, and blackberry schnapps.
  9. If you have a scroll of ancient forbidden unspeakable evil and 3 thin black candles, kill Lord Spookyraven. If not, wait to kill him for when you kill other bosses. If you kill him and have the items, summon Ak'gyxoth in the chamber. You get three advanced cocktails which you can use for nightcaps.
  10. Hidden Temple until Hidden City is open. Equip your hilarious comedy prop for extra HP and MP.
  11. Poop Deck to open Belowdecks. Use volleyball or cocoabo. The only item of interest here is the booty chest charrrm, which you may want to use later. Keep track of how many turns you spend here. If you spent 10 turns and do not get the O Cap'm, My Cap'm adventure, you might consider going back here to level if you need to later. You are guaranteed to get the adventure after 30 turns in this zone and if you get it in the next 10 (for instance) your average gain will be 45 of your mainstat, which rivals the best places for stats at your level.
  12. Belowdecks with fairy until you can make the Talisman o'Nam. Good items here include the grungy bandana, buoybottoms, acoustic guitarrr, and the grungy flannel shirt.
  13. Palindrome until you get stunt nuts & put items on shelf. Always choose the 3rd option for the papaya war choice adventure and the 1st choice for the tanning choice adventure.
  14. While beaten up, you can manage to go to the Laboratory to find Mr. Alarm. Talking to him will increase the drop rate of the ingredients you looking for in Whitey's Grove.
  15. Whitey's Grove for a bird rib and lion oil.
  16. Cook wet stunt nut stew and go to the Laboratory to get the Mega Gem.
  17. Hidden City until you have all four stone spheres and have found found all four alters and A Smallish Temple. Killing Protector Spirits in BM can be tough. The items that help the most are the grungy bandana, obsidian dagger, tarrrnished charrrm bracelet, happiness, and cannonball charrrm bracelet. Using elementally aligned combat items like bottles of alcohol, imp airs, and cocktail napkins also help. You can also try stunning items and just waiting for the cannonball charrrm to kill them. Finally, you can try some BM damage effects by visiting guano junction or the goatlet. These BM adventures show up pretty fast.

There are two reasons for doing the level 11 quest in this order: getting useful items early and fighting easier monsters before moving on to tough ones.

If you get beaten up today, place spheres on alters, get wet stew ingredients from Whitey's, finish farming pixels, and as a last resort, farm for 1 goat cheese, the barrrnacle, or the potato sprout in the conservatory. You should be more than halfway to level 12.

Day 11

  1. Buff up and kill Dr. Awkward, Protector Spectre, and Lord Spookyraven. Consider Barrrgain Bookstore, Black Market, Blood of the Wereseal, cans of hairspray & Ben Gal Balm, known ! potions, and anything else you may have in your inventory, but hold off on using the Styx Pixie buff just yet). Do not forget to use your volleyball here.
  2. Upper Chamber to get the carved wooden wheel. Don't forget to buy a few anti-anti-antidotes before adventuring here to avoid getting poisoned.
  3. Middle Chamber turning the wheel 3 times, then going to the Lower Chambers. Turn the wheel another 4 times and go to the Lower Chambers again. Turn the wheel a final 3 times and go to the Lower Chambers to open the way to Ed's tomb.
  4. Hole in the Sky to start farming stars and lines until you reach lvl 12. Do not make Richard's star key until you have all your stars and lines or else it will trigger a BM adventure that is a waste of a turn.
  5. Put on your hippy outfit and get the war hippy fatigues by adventuring in the hippy camp. The problem in BM is that surviving combats at high levels may be difficult and you want to save resources for when you must fight. By choosing this route, you get the outfit in about 20 turns, the stats are pretty good, and if you get beaten up a few times by the only combat adventure, it is not such a big deal.
  6. Put on your war hippy fatigues, buff up, and start the war by adventuring in the Orcish Frat House.
  7. Complete the filthworm sidequest as a hippy. Maximize item drops (fairy, object detection, monocle, rabbit's foot, makeshift cape, observational glasses, miner's helmet, pet-buffing spray, Knob Goblin eyedrops, cyclops eyedrops, etc.). You may also try going to the Laboratory first to get a special BM adventure that provides 50% Item Drops. If you have a leprechaun, it is worth using for the extra meat against the filthworm queen.
  8. Eat your fill of pear/peach/plum pies and drink your fill of pear/peach/plum schnapps from the Organic Produce Stand.
  9. Complete the nun's sidequest as a hippy. Use Corsican's Blessing. Maximize meat drops (nasal spray, bag of Cheat-Os, Mick's IcyVapoHotness Inhaler, Preternatural Greed from the Summoning chamber - the reason you farmed a 2nd scroll earlier, Hella Smooth buff from Styx Pixie, white collar, booty chest charrrm bracelet, acoustic guitarrr, etc.). If you have a leprechaun, use it with pet-buffing spray. If you have 2 inhalers and the most easy to obtain meat bonuses, you should finish the nuns in 20 turns. Missing 1 inhaler will cost you 6 turns. Buying Greed only saves 4 turns with 1 inhaler, 3 with 2 inhalers. Cranberry cordial (if you are a Sauceror) might save 1 turn. If you do not use Preternatural Greed, but have 2 inhalers, that will cost you 8 turns and no Preternatural Greed and 1 inhaler will cost you 19 turns! In other words, getting at least 1 inhaler and a scroll for the summoning chamber are really worthwhile, and Greed is not worth buying. You may also try going to the Misspelled Cemetary beforehand to get the Braaaaaains effect - it is like having another inhaler! You now have access to cheap healing three times a day from the nuns.

Doing the level 12 quest as a hippy has three big advantages in bad moon and it should always be done this way. 1. The food and drink from the filthworm quest are much better. 2. By doing the arena sidequest as a hippy, you get Optimist Primal, which is 5 lbs to your familiar, which saves you from leveling your familiars at the tower. 3. The sidequests as a hippy are all relatively painless compared to the frat ones. You should however check the level 12 optimizer created by AFH to have a sense of how long each sidequest will take and based on what items you have possibly do an extra quest or avoid one quest.

You now have access to unlimited food and drink and an extra source of HP restoration.

If you did not set up the Guy made of bees and you are not going to buy a +5 familiar skill, you will want to level up instead of doing the Upper and Middle Chamber, killing Ed, and farming the Hole in the Sky so you can use flyers in these zones. Do realize that using flyers during a BM run is really painful, although if you can manage it, it may give you a faster run than setting up the Guy made of bees.

Day 12

  1. Eat and drink from the hippy store. Get to 18 drunkenness if you know which ! potion gives drunkeness. Get to 15 if you do not know - just in case.
  2. Hole in the Sky for key, starfish, hat, and weapon. Again, remember to make the key last.
  3. Kill Ed. Ed's last form is a good place to use a chaos butterfly - using one will make step 4 go faster because it initiates the possibility of a shortcut.
  4. Complete duck sidequest (choose the fence, lantern, and drums to get the shortcut).
  5. Start killing frat boys at the Battlefield until the Junkyard sidequest opens. Avoid the Sonofa Beach - it takes too many turns. Don't forget to use your communications windchimes every 10 turns to restore MP (your MP needs to be under 25%)
  6. Do the Junkyard sidequest if you are a Sauceror or Muscle Class. It only takes a few turns and these classes have the best chance of surviving with high HP or potions to get high HP. If you got Harold's bell, using it against an AMC gremlin is probably one the best uses for it. If you are another class, you may find this sidequest tough to handle and costly in terms of meat. It does not save that many turns either.
  7. You can use a frat army FGF for a 1 drunkeness drink.
  8. Kill more frat boys at the Battlefield until the Arena sidequest is available.
  9. If you have a chloroform rag, a sausage bomb, a brick of sand, or are a Pastamancer, you should go get an antique hand mirror from the Haunted Bedroom. It will be worth it. Note: If you are doing a 100% black cat run, you should skip this step. Fighting the Guy made of bees is not worthwhile because it takes too much time to set up and may lead to a total loss.
  10. Haunted Bathroom until you get Guy Made Of Bees. Use a stunning item round 1 if you can. Pastamancers can instead use entangling noodles. Use flyers on round 2 and use the antique hand mirror round 3. If you stun the Guy Made Of Bees for two rounds, you can complete the arena sidequest and get a guy made of bee pollen in just a few turns. If not, you get beaten up and you do not get a guy made of bee pollen, but you still finish the arena sidequest quickly. Disco Bandits can use ambidextrous funkslinging to flyer and use the mirror without stunning in 1 round. Use soft green eyedrops or tiny house to get rid of the beaten up effect.
  11. Go to the arena to complete the sidequest (this is suggested if you do not have a skill for +5 lbs for your familiar).
  12. Clear the Battlefield.
  13. Trade all your class rings and unneeded gear for your dimes at the Hippy Camp and exchange them for filthy poultice and macrame nets (in about equal quantity). Ferret baits are good too if you have a few extra dimes.
  14. Buff yourself to the max and kill the Man with everything you have to throw at him. Do not underestimate how tough this fight can be. There are many ways to beat him. Here are a few methods that have proven effective. 1. Get your moxie up to about 250. He will barely hit you. Plink away at him with a ranged weapon or combat items and if you can manage hitting him for 50 damage per round, you will win. 2. Use Delevellers and stunners. Pastamancers can use gobs of wet hair and their spice ghost. The drowsy sword and moxious maneuvers work for moxie classes or just the drowsy sword for muscle classes. Knob Goblin stink bombs,patchouli incense sticks, roofies, ferret bait, & macrame nets are just a few delevelers that you may have extra of. Chloroform rags & bricks of sand make great stunners if you have them, but only use them if you really need to since they also help against the N.S. You may need to use HP restorers too, but again use them as a last resort. Using one scented massage oil is worthwhile if you are about to die. 3. Kill him fast. This works well for Pastamancers with a Staff of the Soupbone. With max spell damage, you can do 500 damage per hit, so you only have to last 4-5 rounds. Up your HP as much as you can so you can sustain 2 hits. Using entangling noodles you have a good chance of killing him before he kills you. If you get worried, you can use one scented massage oil to make it a sure victory. 4. Other things you may consider include using ! potions, Mick's IcyVapoHotness Rub, goofballs (all-purpose cleaner will remove the negative effect if you do not kill the N.S. today), or the cannonball charrrm. This is also a nice spot to use a handful of hand chalk if you have extra. 5. Use pirate juice or shrinking powder for a semi-rare. The fight will be much easier, but it is really not worth wasting a semi-rare on.
  15. Prepare for the tower: use canopic jars, buy hair spray, make a Wand of Nagamar, make NG if you have the parts, make a tambourine or bone rattle (you can try blowing up your chef for a broken skull) if you do not have a percussion instrument, make a skeleton key, and make sure you have a stringed instrument. Here is a list of required items for the tower. If you need to farm something, the Orange Star of Sacrifice helps you have a pretty good farming outfit. Make sure you have two dungeon keys and the digital key. Trade any extra pixels in for potions, especially red pixel potions.
  16. You should be at or close to level 13 without a need to level up, but if you need to, do so before killing the Man. If you have extra meat, you can donate to the appropriate gate in the The Dungeoneers' Association.
  17. Enter gates. Use keys. Zap 3rd key. Use high HP to pass the skeleton key test eventually. Warning: If you are doing a black cat run, don't forget to requip your cat after using the starfish.
  18. Hedge Maze. Tower Monsters. You might as well use Corsican's Blessing and try to level up one of the possible tower familiars.
  19. Killing your shadow requires either 3 red pixel potions and 1 filthy poultice or 1 scented massage oil and 3-4 poultices. If you go the first route, try to have about 250 HP. If you go the second route, use max HP. Also remember to equip +initiative items.
  20. To get 21 lb familiars use the arena buff (+5), pet buffing spray (+5), and irradiated pet snacks (+10). You can get away with not having the arena buff as a Turtle Tamer or Pastamancer by buying skills instead. You should see what your first familiar is before using these buffs because if you need to farm, you may get screwed. You should have managed to get 3-4 of the 5 familiars, so your chances are not too bad. If you have to use the Cake-Shaped Arena, it will cost you dearly. Hopefully you can get the second familiar in under 10 turns if you do not happen to have it.Warning: If you are doing a black cat run, don't forget to requip your cat after using the tower familiars.
  21. Kill the N.S. All the regular advice applies, but I will add a few things. Use Ben Gal Balm before the fight to absorb her first hit. She can be really hard to beat in BM if you are not used to fighting her with almost no skills or items. You might want to lose first and let her lose her blocking ability some before going in for the kill. You may need to buy skills just to be able to kill her. The cannonball charrrm can be amazing against her. It does lots of damage independent of her blocking what you do. It is like having a second chance to hit her each round for 100 damage! Use HP restorers and let the cocoabo do his thing when you are down on HP. Use deleveling items like the ferret bait and macrame nets, along with any stunning items you have. Finally, when you get low on HP, use scented massage oils to get back to 100% HP.

When to Start a BM run

If you have the luxury of deciding when to start a BM run, there are two things to take into account: stat days and holidays. Moxie and Muscle classes will ideally want stat days to fall on days 7 & 8 or 8 & 9. Mysticality classes can only get two stat days if they start day 1 on a stat day, in which case the sceond one will fall of day 9. It is important to bank turns for stat days and do most of your powerleveling on stat days. This will reduce turncount significantly. Feast of Boris, Crimbo, El Dia De Los Muertos Borrachos, and other holidays can help your run immensely. Planning them to be on day 4 or 5 when you are just starting to get good food and drink is the most optimal idea. Careful use of stat days and holidays will lead to much faster runs.